Wednesday, July 20, 2016

❝ Save You ❞

Short story based off the song: No One Does It Better by You Me At Six. 

Save You

            Nothing is ever perfect; perfect is just a word that exists to tease the mind with false ideas. The thought of being perfect eats at the brain, causing people to believe in things that are only made up. But that’s the world today, false ideas and false hope.
            “You really screwed this up,” he said to her, watching the tears fall down her cheeks, uncontrollably.
            She opened her mouth to speak, choking out words, “I’m sorry, you weren’t supposed to find out like this.”
            “Was I supposed to find out at all?” His voice was rising with each word he spit out at her. She winced upon hearing his words, as if they had physically hit her in the face. “I mean be honest with me, Ronnie. Was I ever supposed to find out, that you were with my best friend?” Ronnie shook her head, her lips pulled into a tight line. Josh laughed, raking his fingers through his hair. “You know what, I’m not surprised,” with that he walked out of their little apartment, slamming the door behind him.
            His anger had the best of him, there were words he had said to her that he wished he hadn’t said. There were also words he didn’t mean but he held too much of a grudge right now to take them back or even apologize, he’d calm down sooner or later, after a few drinks, maybe. Wanting to drown out his thoughts, he got to the bar and ordered some drinks, tipping them back, letting the alcohol burn down his throat…and hopefully take away the pain.  
            How could she do this to him, he thought, looking down at the bottom of his third glass that was almost empty now. He sighed, shaking his head and sliding the drink across the bar, not wanting anymore because he felt sick now. Josh was nothing but good to her, he gave her everything so why did she feel the need to go cheat on him with his best friend. How could his friend do that to him! He groaned out loud, banging his fist against the glazed over wooden bar.
            Josh grabbed his coat, pushing his chair out, and then he stormed out of the bar. When he got his jacket on he reached into the pocket, pulling out a velvet box. He slowly opened it, a diamond ring was propped up inside of it. A single tear fell down his cheek, he loved the girl more than life itself. He gave up everything for her, moved out to live with her, moving across the states, away from his own family just to be with her.
            The car was on, blowing heat out since the night was cold, and he didn’t want to go back to the apartment. So he sat there, letting his music blast from the speakers, staring out the window, thinking of words to say to her when he got back. If he even wanted to talk to her. Before he could second guess himself or overthink, he pulled out of the parking spot and headed back to the apartment him and Ronnie have been sharing for about a year now.
            He got back to his home which felt like anything but a home now, the lights were off and it was silent, the door to their bedroom shut. Slowly he opened it, Ronnie laid on the bed, sprawled out, her hair in a mess over her face but she was definitely asleep. Josh didn’t want to wake her, so he shut the door and made a bed for himself on the couch. His body soon gave in to the sleep he truly needed after everything.
            The next morning, he woke up with a killer headache, the bedroom door open now but Ronnie was nowhere to be found within the apartment. He got up, pinching the bridge of his nose as if that’d get rid of the headache that was pounding against his skull. The room they shared seemed so empty, Ronnie’s drawers empty of her clothes, her makeup gone from the bathroom.
            “Ronnie,” he groaned, he hadn’t meant for her to leave, even though he didn’t see it working out again. Let’s be honest, things wouldn’t be the same. There was no trace of her anywhere in the room anymore, she had cleared herself out completely. He checked his phone, having a text message from her, it read:
            I figured you wanted space. Josh, I love you so much. Please forgive me, I’ll be staying with Tiffany.
            “Jesus Christ,” he muttered to himself. The truth was, he wanted to forgive her, he did love her but that wasn’t enough. He loved her, but what is love without trust? Nothing. He clicked the Home button on his phone, a picture of him and Ronnie was his background. They had their lips locked, smiles on their faces, happy. Josh took a seat on the bed, looking through the pictures of them. How could someone be so happy one minute and so… confused and sad the next.
            He wasn’t being fair to her at all, he knew that. It was one mistake, and looking in her eyes last night and seeing how sad she was, he knew that she truly was sorry. Everyone deserves a second chance, and though she did hurt him, they were so close to the next step in their lives. Marriage. Then he shook his head, he wasn’t willing to get hurt again, and honestly, Ronnie wasn’t the same girl he met in high school.
            Josh dialed her number, it rang and rang, and she never picked up so he left a message. “Ronnie, I love you too. But I need to talk to you in person, so call me back and we’ll figure something out.” He hung up, it was weird that she didn’t answer, you’d think she would if she is trying to get him back. Maybe it’s one of her games again, Josh thought. His next option was to call Tiffany, and she picked up on the third ring. “Hey Tiff, is Ronnie there?” he asked her.
            “Ronnie? No, why? Is she supposed to be?” she asked, in her always so cheerful voice.
            “Uh, yeah and she’s not answering my calls. She texted me this morning, and said she was heading over there. We got in a fight last night and her bags are gone too,” Josh explained to Tiffany who went silent on the other end for a while.
            Then she spoke up again, “that’s weird, but no she isn’t here, sorry hun.”
            Josh muttered an okay, they exchanged their goodbyes, and then he hung up. He thought about calling Max, but thought it wouldn’t be a good idea, because if Ronnie was actually with him, his head might explode. Quite honestly, he didn’t even want to face Max any time soon. Josh spent his morning alone for once, it was quite and lifeless without Ronnie. He was eating lunch alone at their favorite little bakery they went to all the time.
            He was eating the food he got all the time when his phone started spazzing out across the table. Jamie, Ronnie’s sister was calling, he knitted his brows together then answered. “Hello?” he answered, after swallowing his food.
            “Josh,” she said, her voice sounding devastated.
            “Yeah what’s wrong?” he asked, sitting up straight in his seat now.
            Jamie let out a soft cry, “you need to get to the hospital right now,” she said. Josh’s heart dropped right then and there, every bad scenario rushing through his mind.
            “I’ll be right there,” he hung up the phone and jumped out of his seat, running out the restaurant to his car. It seemed like, on the way to the restaurant that he had to stop at every red light which was rather frustrating for him. But when he got there, he ran up to the front desk, he asked for the room Ronnie was in, and the nurse told him. Josh sprinted, dodging people, and getting yelled at by passing nurses telling him to stop running, but he ignored them.
            Getting to the room, he busted through the door, all heads turned to him, except Ronnie’s because she was lying in a hospital bed, bloodied and bruised. Machines were hooked up to her, giving her oxygen because she couldn’t get it herself. Suddenly it all hit him and the tears started to sting his eyes, seeing his love laying in a bed, looking so lifeless. Ronnie’s mother let out a cry, breaking the silence. Her father’s arms wrapped around her shoulders, Jamie sat in a corner her hands covering her mouth.
            Looking around, Josh walked in, closing the door again. He walked over to Jamie, squatting down in front of her. “What happened?” he asked.
            “They said, she was texting, the phone dropped and she went to reach for it and lost all control of the wheel,” Jamie said, trying to wipe the tears from her eyes but it was no use, more just kept coming. “Here,” she shoved the phone at me, her green eyes cutting to mine, she suddenly looked angry.
            Josh took the phone and looked down at it, there was a text being composed but it wasn’t finished. “I’m sorry for what I did, I shouldn’t have done it but I just want you to know that I love you and you don’t have to forgive me. I hate myself for wha-“
            It was cut off short because she had dropped the phone and went to get it but never did because she had gotten in an accident before she could. His heart was beating fast now, he was about to lose all sanity but he didn’t for the sake of everyone in the room. Slowly, he stood and turned to see Ronnie. “She was pronounced dead at the scene, but mom and dad didn’t want to believe it, so now she’s here as if it’d change anything,” Jamie said, standing up behind him.
            The doctor walked in, smiling sadly at Josh since he’s a new face since the last time the doctor has been in the room. “I’m sorry,” the doctor said, “but we can’t keep her hooked up to these machines for the sake of other patients who need this. Who actually need this,” the doctor said. Ronnie’s mom stood up, to stop him from unhooking the machine. “Please, you have to understand, it’s not actually helping her,” the doctor tried to calm her mother.
            She knew the truth, it really wasn’t helping Ronnie, no matter what they wanted to believe. It’s just false air being pushed into her lungs that are probably damaged. For a second Josh wanted to believe it was helping her. As soon as the doctor unhooked the machine, stopping the air from going into her body, all their memories flew at Josh. As if Ronnie had released them to him, so she could be lifted to somewhere far better than this cruel world.
            They used to be perfect, but were they really? Does perfection mean someone dying and leaving the other behind? Ronnie’s mom had to be taken from the room, the whole family had to leave, unable to see their daughter and sister so lamented in front of them. But Josh stayed, he owed that to Ronnie. He took her cold hand, allowing the tears to flow unsteadily down his cheeks. “If I had known that this would have happened, I would have saved you Ronnie,” he said, pressing his lips to her hand. “I shouldn’t have let you go anyway,” he said to himself now. “I could have saved you, I could have saved myself. I hurt us both and I’m so sorry,” then the only sound was Josh’s soft cries.
            He wished hard for her to come back but it wasn’t possible, and he knew that so he stood up, defeated and broken. Then he left, leaving to go back to the apartment that only belonged to him now, back to the room that was his alone.

            Nobody ever wants to go to a funeral, but they do because they have to pay respect to the dead. Who wants to watch somebody they love being buried underneath the ground for good, once the dirt is patted down, and the tomb stone is placed, they’re gone for good. Josh stood in the background, feeling as if her death was his fault, so he didn’t want to face her family again. He waited for them all to clear out, “hold on,” he said to the guys who were shutting her coffin.
            They looked him over once then nodded and left it open, he walked slowly up to his girlfriend who laid in the coffin, her eyes closed and her lips painted a shade of red. Her dress perfectly straight without a wrinkle. Her brown hair was curled at the ends, and her arms crossed on top of her stomach.
            Josh reached into his pocket, pulling out the ring. He looked at it for a second. Once his tear fell onto the ground, the grass soaking it up, he was certain with what he was doing. “This was supposed to be yours, it belongs to you and nobody else,” he said, placing the diamond ring in the half open casket. “I forgive you,” he whispered then walked away. Perfection is a disease of the mind, because what he thought was perfect, wasn’t. 

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